Thursday, May 3, 2012

Should It Stay or Should It Go Now?

Warning: Proceed With Caution
This Is A Rant


When we moved into this house last spring, we had all my stuff, all his stuff, and all the stuff that came with the house. Now, I have two kids, and my fiance is really just a big kid himself (aren’t we all?) – so that’s a LOT of STUFF! After making at least one big ol' donation every 6-8 weeks last year, I seem to have it down to about TWO households worth of stuff that is being stored here.

This Saturday, his parents are cleaning out their basement, where he has lived most of his life. We also stayed there a couple months after our move from Buckhannon to Philippi. The word on the street is that if we can’t be there to help (I can’t! It’s Maia’s first baseball game!), all that stuff will be waiting for us on our front porch. Not that it really matters WHERE we/they put it…

“So,” you might be asking yourself, “What’s the problem?”



!!!

Every single time I take a donation, we fight. Because he wants his stuff. All of it. Anything he ever had, ever in his life, he wants it. Here and now. Not that he needs it - or even thinks about it! - until he sees it in the donation pile.

Two Christmases ago, his parents bought us a Keurig Brewer and a matching carousel to store & display our K-cups. I like the Keurig. It’s great, and has lots of uses. But, I barely have room on my kitchen counters for the thing itself, and that carousel won’t fit anywhere. I keep our coffees and teas in a pretty cobalt-blue glass bowl that fits nicely on the shelf. Here it is:



The carousel is not useful to me. It has been neatly stored in its box under my kitchen sink for just about a year now. It is taking up valuable space. It’s in perfect condition, so it IS valuable to someone else. Apparently, that someone is my fiance.

The other night, as soon as he saw it by the door he picked it up, tucked it protectively under his arm, and asked what I was doing with His Thing. 

"Which thing. babe?" He held it up to show me... And so it began.

He's right. I should have asked him, being that it was Ours, which implies that he has at least partial ownership. Therefore I should have already known the value it holds for him. And it will continue to accrue more value as it sits somewhere in his man-cave, nicely tucked into its original packaging, never used, never dusted… Just as long as it’s here.

That's the carousel, by the way, in the first picture, lying on a pile of other necessary items. I slunk in there and took the picture yesterday. (Shhh -- don't tell!)

Some other items he has rescued from donation:

On several occasions, he has rescued clothes from the donation pile that haven’t been worn for over a year.*

He has a box of White Strips that he has never once touched in the whole 3+ years we have been together. Except to rescue it from the clutches of some stain-toothed jerk (read: thrifty Goodwill shopper) who might use it all for himself!

I was finally, on my fourth try, successful at donating 3 Lady Mitchum Deodorants that he bought me on a couponing spree. I never would have used them.

*He also claims that I donated a lot of the clothes that he WOULD be wearing now if he could find them. And, I’d like to take a moment to defend myself from this claim:

- This Donation War has been ongoing with us from the time we moved in together. I KNOW that his stuff is off limits, and I definitely wouldn’t take the clothes that he actually wears.

- Soon after we moved here, we had a yard sale and donated everything that wasn't sold. He later claimed that the things he donated to the sale were not meant to be donated to the Heart & Hand, but I’m not exaggerating when I say that my entire living room was FULL of bags and boxes that I had already gone through! And this was before I had furniture! Anything that wasn't re-sorted and returned, well I’m not sorry.

- If he would let me lose his junk, there would be less of a problem finding the things he is looking for!

I am really trying to get him to see the (natural) light! And breathe the (dust-free) air! And not be cluttered!

C'est la vie.


3 comments:

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  2. darling, I feel your pain. It took a lot of years and lugging 5 (count them 5!!) large tupperware bins full of useless junk (magazines, books, papers etc) for Adam to see the light. And I agee that if it was out for the yard sale then whatever isn't sold goes to donation. I say give him a room for things that you don't have room for in the house. Tell him this is the space he is allowed to hoard his unused items in while you make the rest of the house a home. Any spillage from this room is subject to disappearing to the almighty donation gods for sacrifice. sometimes they have to see it to appreciate the volume and what they don't need to be happy. Good luck dear, it's a never ending battle...<3 Em

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    1. Yeah, Em - I guess I have to get used to it. BTW, I feel a ton better about it since posting this! Trust me, I had NO sense of humor about it until I started writing.

      !!! I just had a great idea for the WV Liar's Contest... I might actually sign up!

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